Diary of Louis von Mayersbach

The diary was probably started in late 1797, when Louis (or Lewis) was only 10 years old. It was probably written as "French homework" for his French tutor, Monsieur Le Cocq, who began giving Louis lessons in December 1796.

The first part of the diary is not really a diary at all, but a brief autobiography. The actual diary begins on January 1^st 1798 and ends in mid-sentence on May 19^th 1798.

The text makes frequent mention of places and people. Where possible I have included links to footnotes or other web sites which give further details.

The diary is currently in private ownership and I must thank the owner for allowing me to copy the diary and posting this translation.

I must also thank Helen Whichelow for preparing this translation.

Autobiography

I was born on the 11^th of the 9^th month 1787 at about two o'clock in the morning to a most respectable Mother and Father who had always lived by the Uprightness of their emotions, the Purity of their Morals, their Honesty and especially their extreme Affection for their children and for me in particular.

The great Reputation which they have enjoyed and the Trust that the well-to-do People who have known them have had in them, are and will always be the most powerful Motive for me to walk in their Footsteps and make me worthy of them. Because I feel that it is through practising the same Virtues that I can enjoy the same consideration that is the first, the greatest of all Advantages and without which ones Existence cannot be regarded as a good thing.

In order to succeed in this Intention, I believe that there is no better way than to make a Diary in which I shall write every day what I do that's good and Bad, so that in re-reading it some time in the future I can correct whatever has been blameful in my Conduct and confirm to me what can be of benefit to my Progress in my Studies and in Honesty which is so necessary today in a person of good birth and of which so much ? (las) is made in High Society

As there are not many important Things to be remembered up to the age of ten, I shall content myself with mentioning the most important Events that happened to me up to this Time without going into great detail. But now that I find myself capable of serious Thought and having enough Knowledge to know the difference between Good and Bad and what can be to my advantage and what can harm me, I shall go into the smallest Details which thought through carefully can encourage me towards Virtue and allow me to avoid anything to the contrary.

Without further Preamble I shall therefore say that on the same day as the Anniversary of my Birth in 1788 I fell dangerously ill, to the point that they thought that I would not make it. I was not in that critical Situation for long but seriously ill for almost a Year. Finally Mother took me to Brighton, they dipped me in the Sea, and I was almost immediately cured.

I had hardly any Teeth through at the age of fifteen months.

I was out of nappies before the age of two Years.

On Friday 6^th January 1792, they took me for the first time in my life to The Little Theatre of Comedy in Haymarket, I behaved very well, they said, and didn't miss any of the surprises, the play was Cymon. I came back with Madame Bischoff in a Sedan Chair.

On 25^th January I had Toothache all Night, my face very swollen. I said I had a Headache in my Mouth.

On 21^st March I was dressed for the first time in Nankin Boots with a dark Blue Waistcoat.

On 14 June I went to a concert at the Pack Horse Turnham Green.

In the Course of 1793 I was sent for two or three Months to a Girls' School.

On 17^th February 1794 I went for the first time to Mr Roy's Academy, Old Burlington Street.

On the 21^st June of the same Year our holidays began

On 26^th, my sister took me to have a tooth out.

On 25^th of the 8^th I was taken to Grand Mama Leigh's to get Smallpox.

On 4^th of the 9^th I fell ill with smallpox during the night.

On 5^th Madame Bischoff stayed with me at Turnham Green

On the 6^th my sister bought me some Toys

On 7^th some smallpox Marks covered me

On 8^th really ill Pustules came through, Delirious

On 9^th really bad, the smallpox at its very worst

On 10^th at six in the Morning they discovered four black marks on me. Nobody believed that I would pull through, they went to fetch Mr Loveday, but he gave no Hope, they kept me warm by artificial means.

The 11^th and 12^th very bad. The 13^th a little better. The 14^th the same the 15^th and 16^th much better. The 17^th not so good. The 18^th 19^th and 20^th infinitely better.

On the first of the 10^th (October) I went into town for the first time after the Smallpox.

On 31^st March 1795 very ill for two days with Fever until the 5^th April.

On 17^th August (did he mean April?) I went to the School in Brompton for a change of air and on the 22^nd I came home with a black eye from fighting. I returned there on the 24^th and on the 29^th I came home.

On 10^th of the 7^th I went to the Astley Show with my Father and Mother. After I returned to School.

On 10^th of 8^th I left the Brompton School.

On 29^th of 10^th I was scalded in the kitchen on my Side and my Hand in a most terrible way.

At the beginning of 1796 I returned to Mr Roy's School.

On 12^th April I had Measles and was not badly affected.

On 8^th May I went with Ferdinand to the cold Bath in Bond Street.

On 21^st I went with my brother Alexandre to the theatre.

On 11^th June I went with Papa and Mama to Tunbridge wells. I returned the following day and brought Madame Bischoff a vergette

On 6^th July I went with Papa and Alexander to Salt Hill where we slept, whilst the move into Saville Row took place.

On 30^th July I slept at Cranford Row with Papa, and we returned there the next five or six Saturdays.

On 20^th of the 10^th (did he mean the 12^th month? See next page) I recited a Prologue in English at Mr Roy's during the Latin Comedy, all the family went and I repeated the same on the 22^nd but much better than the first time.

24^th. For a Christmas present I gave Mme Bischoff a Ribbon and to Ferdinand a watch. My sister gave me a wallet and a sweet trinket.

24^th 10^th (12^th?) Monsieur Le Coq came round today to give me my first French Lesson. He came every day and dined with us for the first time on 15^th January 1797.

On 20^th I went to sleep at Grand Mama's with Mama and Papa who has been very ill.

On 28^th I went with Papa and Mama to sleep at Hampstead.

On 25^th February, I slept for the first time at Kensington Gore as my Papa was very ill.

9^th March, Papa very ill at Kensington. Doctor Pitcairne consulted.

23^rd March Papa went to Margate. I stayed at Kensington. He returned on 1^st April very much better.

On 26 August I went with Papa and Mama to Brighton, we returned on 3^rd of 7^th (I think he meant September) Papa infinitely better and I am really well.

I started to learn to dance at Monsieur Roy's at the beginning of 1796 but I was obliged to miss quite a lot either through illness or being too far when we went to stay every day in the country.

I also started to learn Drawing at M. Roy's in July 1796 but I didn't exactly follow it through for the same Reasons mentioned above.

1797 10^th month. On 8^th I acted in the French play at M. Roy's, two very long parts. I had the role of Toinette in Moliére's Le Malade Imaginaire and that of Colombine in La Précaution Inutile of the Italian theatre together making more than seven hundred lines Out of the twenty or twenty four young men who took part in the two Plays, no-one had a part anywhere near as considerable as mine. M. Roy and most of the boys did not believe that I was capable of playing two such big parts; but M. Le Coq who knows me better than all of them judged differently: and the Event justified his opinion. As all who heard us declared, it was I who did the best of all. I knew my parts very much better and wasn't once at a loss for words. I spoke with plenty of confidence and in a clear Manner, so that not one Word that I said was lost. The only Thing that I could be criticised for, was that I wasn't firm enough on my Feet, they said that I moved about a little too much. That did not at all diminish the Quality of my Speech or my Action which appeared admirable and almost unbelievable to all those who knew that I was only ten Years old and that I had been learning French for less than a whole Year. My Papa, My Mama, My Grand Mama, My Bischoff Sisters and Caroline were all together in the Carriage. After the two French Plays my Papa and M. Le Cocq left, and we stayed on to see La Farce Angloise, but in the middle of the Play a Young Idiot made a great deal of Noise and we were very frightened, quite a few people thought that the House was on Fire, the Play was not over everyone was trying to find a way to safety as best they could we returned home and I went to bed after Midnight. (His lack of punctuation here highlights the drama)

On 14^th of the tenth month of the Year 1797 we repeated the same plays and I excelled myself. I was firm on my Feet and spoke with a strength and extraordinary confidence and I received a great deal of applause and compliments. Papa and Mama affirmed that they had not felt in a long time such tender Pleasure and the Greatest of Satisfaction.

Some days before the first Presentation I caught a really bad Cold and it was feared that I would be in no state to act, but for about three weeks they made me take every night before I went to bed, a Milk of Hen, that is to say, two yolks of Egg with sugar and boiling Water all well beaten together, which did me every possible good, to the point that not only did I no longer have a Cold, but my voice was clearer and more resonant than it had ever been before, all the Family reacted in the same way as the first time, M Le Cocq laughed his head off and saw that I was acting in a very superior Manner. Papa returned again with him, and we stayed to watch l'Anglois. As they were dressing me for the Role of Colombine, M. Le Cocq brought me a Biscuit with a Glass of wine and hot Water with Sugar, but because it was I think too strong, gave me a great Headache so that I fell asleep twice in the Intervals however no-one in the Theatre noticed and although I was really tired towards the end, my voice and my Actions were not less well sustained. They especially admired the last Piece that I say in La Précaution Inutile which ends the Play. Arriving back home, I took my Milk of Hen and went to bed straight away. Mama having had printed nearly four hundred Tickets on a really beautiful Paper with a superb Typeface, I gave a dozen free of charge to all the Children who had had a Part either in French or in English and some to my Friends and other Boys who didn't have any. Finally I am assured by all that has been said that I had brought a great deal of Honour to myself in this regard.

On 19^th I went with My Papa, My Mama and Madame Bischoff to the Strand to see the King pass on his way to St Paul's to give thanks for the naval Victories won by Lord Howe against the French by Lord St Vincent against the Spanish and by Lord Duncan against the Dutch. The spectacle was superb.

On 24^th I received Gifts as usual, and in particular a superb Drawing Box in the form of a book bound in Morocco leather and edged in gold given me by Mama.

The same day I received Gil Blas in six volumes that M. Le Cocq gave to me and Caroline as a prize.

January

1^st

M. Le Cocq slept at our country house at Kensington. After lunch we both walked into town. I was with him for the first time at the Portuguese Chapel. On the way home, he gave me the Natural History by (Louis leaves a gap) in French seven quite well bound volumes. About seven in the evening I was with Caroline in our Carriage to Mrs Pitt's to attend a Ball that she was giving. I danced with the Misses Pitt We had supper and we really enjoyed ourselves and they said that I really behaved myself well. On the way we passed by Herbert's house and we took him and his Sister in the Carriage we took them back home on the way back, we got home after eleven.

2^nd

In the morning I went out to buy some Seed for my sister's birds, and to buy a Diary in the form of a wallet. M. Le Cocq came this Morning and stayed with us all day, until Supper. I did my Homework fairly well. A piece of candle that I put in my Mouth thinking that it was a bit of salad made me quite Ill, I was indisposed all evening, it even made me sick.

3^rd

M. Le Cocq came this morning. I went out with my sister and then with M. Le Cocq. We went by the Bookshop. I did my homework quite well but what spoilt it all was that I was in the Kitchen taking Tea with the coachman, and Caroline was with me and afterwards I was so Ashamed that I solemnly promised never to do it again.

4^th

Today Mr Ford took out six of my Teeth in the presence of Mr Le Cocq and my Sister Caroline. It was not without a lot of Heartache and then considerable difficulty that I decided to suffer this Operation which caused me so little Pain that I was ashamed to have resisted it for so long. I went for a walk with my Father before dinner and recited my Lessons very well. My Papa gave me seven Shillings and Mama five.

5^th

I went out in the Morning to buy something for Caroline and in the Afternoon I was with her and Mr Le Cocq to take a little stroll in St James's Park. I studied quite badly today.

6^th

Mr Le Cocq came around at ten in the Morning, we worked until midday, we then went to St Patrick's Chapel, from there we passed by the bookshop after which we took ourselves to Bond Street where I studied in the greatest detail all the Cakes that were there, from there we left for the Country where we had an excellent dinner and a very pleasant evening which I completely ruined by my own fault, assuring that I had permission to go and find my cousin William which was quite untrue. I should be angry if it became known that I was capable of telling a Lie for the Pleasure of running around at Night and in the Mud as far as Kensington, rather than staying by a good fire which they (usually) have all the Trouble in the World to get me to leave. You can judge from that my good taste.

7^th

I was at the Spanish Chapel where I saw a superb picture and heard very pretty Music, I returned in wonderful weather and after dinner I went to the Kitchen where I heard a Talk given by the Coachman are you not delighted by my Tact?

8^th

Yesterday, not only did I not do my Lessons at all, I didn't even learn one Word, and what is worse I was all evening in a very bad Mood, and disobeying everything Mr Le Cocq said to me. I did not want to leave the fireside for one moment even though I was told that it was bad for me, and I couldn't help falling asleep. I came back from the Country on foot with Mr Le Cocq, we stopped at the Bavarian Chapel before returning home, I would have done my lessons quite well if I had not been so badly behaved, however even though I enjoy being childish, I have this Morning promised not to stay so near to the fire again because I have been taught to see the Advantage of getting away from it.

9^th

Miss Pitt came this morning to see my Sister they played for a long time and I on the other hand spent nearly all the time before dinner laughing instead of studying. After dinner I went with Mr Le Cocq to the cutler and to the Bookshop I then worked quite well until Supper.

10^th

I did absolutely nothing until half past ten when Mr Le Cocq arrived and I then worked well until two o'clock. Afterwards we went out to go to the Park, and to Westminster Abbey, where I did very little Viewing, we returned home at four o'clock for Dinner, during which I was a bit Childish, but to put this right I was really good until Supper.

11^th

I really filled my Morning well I knew all my Lessons by the time Mr Le Cocq arrived. I worked with him until two o'clock after which I got dressed for a little Walk, but as it started to Rain we continued to work until Dinner we started again without a Break until supper, it's one of the best days since the holidays.

12^th

Today I did a little bit of everything, at certain moments I studied well, at others I was what you would call very lazy, but what I have to reproach myself for especially is that I did not behave with the Politeness that they try to inspire in me, and which suits a young family Man.

13^th

Mr Le Cocq came this morning at ten o'clock, we worked until two and quite well. I then got dressed and went out to get a glass put in my Watch. We were with My Papa, My Sister Caroline and Mr Le Cocq at Drury Lane where we saw the Comedy The Bold blow for a Woman and The Deserter.

14^th

I went today to a French sermon, returning from which I worked until dinner, and then until supper, but then I was so sleepy that I could hardly stay awake. Mr Le Cocq became angry and in order to make it up with him I had to promise I would never again let myself go to Sleep as easily as I had up till now.

15^th

I got to School at eight o'clock. When I arrived Mr Roy gave me a Drawer I then recited my Dialogues and the Grammar that I had for my holiday homework, as I spoke the first and better than anyone else my Name was therefore put first in the top Class of Boys studying French, so I did nothing in the evening and I went to bed after Midnight as Mrs Pitt and her Daughter came round to take Tea and supper with us.

16^th

I was at School before eight o'clock I stayed until after five to say my Tables, and instead of doing what Mr Le Cocq told me to do, all I did was to play, which made me realise that I would learn very little and would let myself be dominated by Laziness if left to my own devices.

17^th

I was at School at the usual Time, and I said my Lessons quite well. I returned Home at half past four and worked well until Supper. I translated quite a long Piece on Lies, and then I read four or five Pages about Man in my Natural History book.

18^th

Today I dined at School. Afterwards I was at Mr Le Cocq's who came with me in the Street and in St James's Park to see what was happening on the Occasion of the Queen's Birthday. We returned home where we found my Papa very annoyed that we hadn't dined at home, and that I was only back at five o'clock. We made it up immediately, though, and afterwards I worked really well until after eight o'clock without falling asleep.

19^th

Today I didn't do marvellously well at School. My French Exercise in particular was very poor and the Reason is that I wanted to play more than to work. But I made good at home in the evening where I worked for nearly three Hours, nearly without taking breath; that is to say without thinking of anything apart from what Mr Le Cocq told me to do.

20^th

At School I recited my two French Lessons before lunch, and quite well. After lunch I did my Written work and recited my Latin with flying colours, we came home to have dinner; but before that I went with Mr Le Cocq to Bond Street to buy a lock for my Drawer, and for which I paid 5 Shillings and six pence. I kept the Promise that I had given Mr Le Cocq last Sunday never to let myself fall asleep before supper, even though I was sometimes a little tired I did everything he told me to shake it off, and I was so successful that I did not merit a single Reproach on this subject for the whole Week. I would have finished the Week off really well, if I had been a little calmer during and after supper. I have to reproach myself for having played a little too much, and for having been a little too childish, which happens to me quite often.

21^st

Mr Le Cocq came this morning at ten o'clock and he had lunch with us. We then went out to go and hear a French Sermon after which we had a little Stroll, and returned home where I was very busy until dinner, after which we started again until supper, and quite well during the whole Time. I even played a little less than usual. It is to be hoped that with Time I will correct little by little all that can give displeasure and put the smallest Obstacle to my Progress.

22^nd

Today I re-started to learn to dance. I said my Lessons quite well, it is also today that I was for the first time a Monitor in the top French Class, I had never been that in any other Class. It is also today that the Art Master came for the first time after the holidays, and I stayed with him for three Hours until five. I was then at Home where I worked very hard until supper.

23^rd

I recited my Lessons quite well, however not as well as I could have. After five o'clock I worked at home until Supper, and much better than I would have believed, being overwhelmed in an extraordinary Manner by Sleepiness, I didn't let myself go for one instant. I did not forget the Promise I made to fight against it.

24^th

Bad day. I got to School later than usual. I was the bottom of my Class which tells us that I recited my Lessons very badly, after which I went to hide so that I wasn't forced to study. I went for lunch before School was finished, and I returned straight away, not to work but to play. I stayed at least a half an Hour in the Playground and with a lot of Mud. I would still be there if they hadn't called me to go and work. I ended the day almost as badly as I had begun it.

25^th

I got to School quite early. I started with my Written Work, but as I was not as diligent as I should have been, I was not ready to recite my Lessons with my Class, and I was therefore the bottom like yesterday.. at eight o'clock I went to dancing; at nine I said my verbs quite badly, and I couldn't say my Grammar. Coming back from lunch I stopped in the Playground to play as long as I could. At one o'clock I was still playing until two. I then returned home and after getting dressed I went for a ride in the Carriage until dinner with Papa and Mama. In the evening we also went in the Carriage at half past seven to Mr Roy's to attend his Ball with Miss Pitt and my Sister. After they both danced a Minuet and I then danced three Dances with the first. We really enjoyed ourselves and we returned home at eleven o'clock precisely. It was past Midnight when I went to bed.

26^th

I didn't get to School until after lunch. Once again I recited my Lessons really badly because I had not prepared them. I played after lunch and after dinner. Today the Lock for my Drawer was put in Place. In the afternoon I drew and came home at five o'clock. I then worked until after eight o'clock but somewhat indifferently. I realise that when I start my Day badly, I finish it quite badly. I must therefore try to remedy this and this is what I have resolved to do.

27^th

An excellent Day. I rose early in the Morning and was in School the same. I recited my Lessons with my Class and I was top, a little after two o'clock I went for a ride in the Carriage with my Papa, my Mama and my Sister. After dinner I worked until supper however not as well as I had done in the Morning.

28^th

This Morning I was at St James to see the Horse Guards and after having listened to the Music, followed it up to the House of the Horse Guards, I walked as far as Westminster Bridge, on the way back I saw the Whitehall Chapel that I found really beautiful. I then crossed Green Park and returned home with my Sister Caroline and Mr Le Coq. We worked until dinner and quite well, but after dinner I behaved rather badly, I was in the kitchen several times and I stayed there a long time, whilst Company was assembled in the dining Room, I was in a bad Mood because Sleepiness tired me out. I did not fulfil my Promise on this subject.

29^th

I was in School early in the Morning I recited my Lessons with my Class and I was top. I then wrote for the Prize, and not having any mistakes I won Half. From there I went to dancing and then lunch. I did my French exercise quite well before dinner. I did drawing afterwards until five o'clock. After that I came home where I worked with my Sister until seven o'clock. Then I went to School again with Mr Le Cocq where I did arithmetic until eight. After that home, supper and then bed. This day was quite well filled.

30^th

I was once more the top of my Class. However I didn't know my Reading very well, but I made it up in the Dialogues which I knew perfectly well. Mr Roy was today in a very bad Mood with me because I came home yesterday in the Evening after five o'clock even though he had put me in detention for having been lazy and especially for my impertinence with the Art Master. I would have run a great Risk of having the ordinary Punishment increased if someone hadn't interceded for Me. Nobody knew anything about this drama at home. Today at about three in the afternoon my Papa having seen all his Patients as usual and having put on his frock coat to take a walk before dinner, went down to the Sitting Room with Mama who thought she noticed that he wasn't quite well, and asked if he felt something and he replied that no, he just felt a little tired. They both left the Sitting Room and arriving on the threshold of the Front Door, he felt ill as they opened the Carriage door. Mama seeing that he was having trouble keeping upright, gave him her Hand; which prevented him from falling, and with the aid of other People he was brought back into the Sitting Room. They sent the Carriage immediately to the Surgeon's who, having arrived almost immediately, cut him whilst still in the Sitting Room where they had already put his feet in warm water. They then took him to his Bed, where they shook him and administered all the possible Aid. I came back from School at five o'clock really happy, thinking that I would still go and play with him, like I had done in the Morning during our meal. I hadn't in a long time seen my dear Papa so gay or happy. There is nothing he didn't do to make me laugh and to show me his affection. Coming in I learnt that he had suddenly been overcome by a loss of consciousness, and that they considered that in the circumstances I should not go in there in front of him, fearing that it might cause him some Seizure. I ran straight away to Mr Le Cocq to inform him and in reaching him I could not hold back my tears. It would seem that I already foresaw the loss that I was going to suffer. We came back home, we stopped in the Sitting Room, I went to ask Mama several times how he was. There were Moments when it seemed that there was some Hope. First his right side seemed to be paralysed, after they seemed to have restored its Warmth. Finally with the thought that it was for the best I returned to School with Mr Le Cocq at seven o'clock until eight. Whilst my Brother was at the house they consulted a Doctor who prescribed a blood letting from his Arm and they took sixteen ounces of Blood. Without doubt it was a lot, but the Doctor said that with such a violent Attack, a violent Remedy was necessary. It was now just after eight o'clock. They had hardly taken the Half of this quantity of blood when my dear Papa's strength began to diminish noticeably. I was going to ask Mama how he was, and at that moment, hearing great screams, we went up with Mr Le Cocq who entered the bedchamber at almost the very moment that he was to breathe his last. There were about six to eight people, each one trying to comfort him, and bringing him back to Life, but all was in Vain. He passed away without any fit, with no effort, without the slightest distress, but rather as a Person falling asleep, at precisely eight forty-five in the evening. From the Moment he fell ill, he gave no sign, nor spoke any word, until his Death. One cannot feel anything more sad or more overwhelming than to be separated in such a fashion from everything that one loves. Mama, my Sister Bischoff who stayed up all Night with Mr Le Cocq wanted me to go to bed about Midnight, but I couldn't sleep, and I spent the saddest and most painful Night that it is possible to imagine.

31^st

Mr Le Cocq came to see me in Bed several times during the Night. He nearly always found me awake and sweating a lot. He kept telling me to try to sleep but in vain: I never could, and at five o'clock , not being able to resist any longer, I got up, and went down with him to my Papa's bedchamber, where I saw him dead, and examined carefully as he lay in his Bed how he looked, and the memories of the Kindness and the tender Affection that he had for me and that he had showed me so often, and on the previous day and which I shall never forget in my life, brought on a Torrent of Tears. I spent the whole Day with Mama, Miss Bischoff, my Grand Mama who arrived at our house at Midday, and the rest of the family. Mr Le Cocq left me this Morning a little before eight o'clock, and he returned at nine, at one and at five o'clock.. We stayed at Home until ten o'clock. After I went to bed in his Room where I slept reasonably well until half past seven in the Morning.

February

1^st

I returned home from Mr Le Cocq's at seven thirty. I waited until Mama got up before entering her Room. I found her very sad. I had breakfast with her, and I did not leave her for a single Moment the whole Day. My Papa was put in his Lead Coffin. In the Evening around ten o'clock I went to sleep with Mr Le Cocq and I rested well.

2^nd

I got up after seven o'clock. I came back home and I have been busy with some little things while I waited for Mama to get up. After breakfast I did a French Exercise that Mr. Le Cocq gave me to do. Today my Papa's Lead Coffin was closed. My Mama cried almost all Day. After supper I went again to sleep with Mr. Le Cocq and I slept well.

3^rd

I came back home at the normal hour, and I occupied myself in the same way all Day. Mama is always very sad, and her Health has deteriorated a little bit. In the evening at ten o'clock, again with Mr. Le Cocq.

4^th

Today Sunday, I did not get home before ten o'clock. I worked quite well, I wrote my Multiplication Tables and started to learn them by Heart. Mama still in the same Situation. We went to bed at ten o'clock.

5^th

I came back at eight o'clock after a very good Night. I occupied myself today as usually. Mama feels a little better but is still grieving as much. It was after ten o'clock when we went to bed.

6^th

Because today is the first Tuesday of the month I only got up after eight, and I returned home after nine. I was occupied with Mr. Le Cocq who stayed with us all day. Around nine o'clock in the Evening we all went down into the large Room where Papa was laid out and which was lit with a large number of Candles. We walked several times Around the Coffin. The Silence which reigned in this Apartment and Mama's flood of Tears would have touched the hearts of anybody. She did not want to leave there ever and it was only after much Insistence and many Prayers that we could tear her away. It was almost eleven o'clock when we went to bed.

7^th

I came back home this Morning at eight o'clock. My Papa was buried today. I dressed after breakfast and a little after two o'clock I went down to the Sitting Room to join the Company which was assembled there for the Funeral procession. We left at half past three precisely. I was in the first Carriage with My Brother, Mr. Le Cocq and the Clergyman, Mr Bracken, who performed the Burial Service. Then followed a second Carriage with six Horses like ours, in which were Messrs. Hanson, Lans and Edmonds and Mr. Salomon. Ours followed (the coffin) as is the Custom. The weather was very pleasant, our Street was full of People, as well as Bond Street and Piccadilly. During the Ceremony, the churchyard and the Church of St James where my good Papa was buried were as full as they would be during the Services on Sunday. Finally after that the prayers were over, he was taken down in the Crypt under the Church which is at the North Side, that is, on the Piccadilly side. After that we got back in the Carriage and came back home in the same Order. All the Persons Unknown to me were gone and almost all of us were faint with hunger, above all my lovely Mother, we ate something at seven o'clock and somewhat before ten o'clock I went to bed with Mr. Le Cocq.

8^th

I rested well during last Night. I came back home at eight o'clock. Mr Le Cocq collected me at one o'clock and with Caroline for the first time since the Death of my dear Papa, we took a walk in St James's Park. We came back somewhat after three o'clock, then we had dinner, after that we worked until the supper and somewhat before ten o'clock I went to sleep with Mr. Le Cocq.

9^th

I got up at the usual time, and when I came home, I kissed my dear Mother. After the lunch I went out with Madame Bischoff, Caroline and Ferdinand. Today they put a Grill around the Coffin of my dear Papa. This place which will be used by the family is the fourth on the Left while entering in the Crypt. This Grille is made so that no one take the Coffin out, and that no one, except our family can take a Place in it. I went to sleep with Mr. Le Cocq at ten o'clock.

10^th

I got up at the usual time and my first care was to see Mama. At one o'clock we went out to walk in the Park with Caroline and Mr Le Cocq. We had lunch at half past three; and then we worked until supper, and at ten o'clock I went to sleep with Mr. Le Cocq.

11^th

I came home at half past nine. Later we went with Mr Le Cocq and Caroline to the Chapel of Spain. From there we walked in Hyde Park, and in St James's. We came back home somewhat after two o'clock. We worked until half past three, and after lunch until supper. At ten o'clock I went to sleep with Mr. Le Cocq for the last time and I slept there as well as the first Day.

12^th

I got up at half past seven. I had breakfast with Mama, and at ten o'clock I went to School for the first time since the death of my dear Papa. I behaved really well. They asked me for my News. I replied to all in a decent manner, and I did well what I had to do. In the evening I returned with Mr. Le Cocq at seven and I stayed occupied with Arithmetic until eight. At ten o'clock I went to sleep in my own Bed, but because I was struck with Fear, like an Idiot, I followed Daniel into his Bed where I very passed the Rest of the Night.

13^th

I got up at half past six and went to School at seven. I knew my french Lessons very well. I was almost top all the time, but because a lack of attention I finally ended up second. In the evening at seven o'clock I went back to School again until eight. I lay on my Bed and by Means of a Candle that burned in my Room, I stayed there all Night and I slept there very well.

14^th

At seven o'clock I was at School. I started reciting my French Lessons that I knew quite well. I was sometimes top and sometimes last, and I finished third because I did not want to give it the attention I could have and also I spoke too quickly and did not pronounce Half of the Words, although they told me to articulate well and to speak slowly. I also behaved badly at Dinner, speaking too loudly and by asking too frequently for what I needed, even though I was sure that they couldn't have given it to me sooner. I slept in my Room, all alone.

15^th

I recited my French Lessons badly also I was Bottom and this was my fault because I did not want to prepare them as I was asked to. We did not walk today because it was raining. The Executors came together this evening, my brother was there, and we went to bed very late after we left each other as quite good Friends. I slept again in my Bed and I slept very peacefully. I do not feel any Difficulty anymore there.

16^th

Again I recited my Lessons very badly, we were five and I was fourth. This is not surprising because I do not want to prepare them as I should. We had Drawing in the afternoon and at seven o'clock went back to School again until eight. I went to sleep at ten. Today I have been what you can call a little bit Impertinent, especially in my Answers, and this is maybe the reason why a lost my Ring. I realized that it was missing some time after I came Home: but I do not know if I lost it here or at School.

17^th

In our Class today we were six and I was fifth which proves again that I did not know my Lessons any better than the other Days. At one o'clock we had a walk with Mr Le Cocq, and Caroline, until dinner. After that we worked until the supper and somewhat before Ten o'clock I went to bed and I slept very well.

18^th

Today we went to the Portugaese Chapel, my Sister and Mr, Le Cocq. After that we took a very long Walk. After dinner we worked until eight o'clock and I went to bed at ten.

19^th

We were six in our Class and I was second. I knew my Lessons very well. I received also the Prize, having only two mistakes, the others who had at least three. After that I went to dance, but after breakfast I made the mistake of playing until a quarter past ten, and also at one o'clock, although I was told not to do so. I drew after dinner and at seven o'clock I returned to School until eight.

20^th

This Morning I suffered a great Embarrassment. I had prepared my Lessons so badly that I hardly knew a single Word, to the point that they were making fun of me all the time: and to prolong my embarrassment until the end, Mr Le Cocq send me out saying I had to learn it. Indeed I went to learn it, and after that I said all alone and quite well. Nevertheless I am last and this is all my own fault because I do not want to follow the advice that is given to me. I went back to School at seven o'clock in the evening.

21^st

I knew my Lessons quite well today, but because of a lack of attention I was only fourth, although from being bottom I then reached second position I lost a lot of Time to playing instead of preparing what I had to do: and to avoid being found out, I even went to play Marbles in the Toilets. By this you can guess how much I love nice Smells. At seven o'clock I went to School until eight.

22^nd

Today I took Medicine and for this Reason I did not go to School. Although, by doing this I did not wate my time because I washed two Handkerchiefs and I even ironed them. After Mr Le Cocq came at one o'clock we worked until dinner, after the dinner I fell asleep for more than three quarters of an hour, finally I did some more work until supper, and I went to bed at nine o'clock.

23^rd

I went to School at seven o'clock, and I started with an act of Stupidity, more an act of Folly. I replied to my Name in an extravagant Manner by shouting as loud as I could. After that I recited my Lessons, we were seven, I was top for a long time and I finished second because I did not pay attention to what I said. At seven o'clock I returned to School until eight. my Mourning Ring has been found back today by Luc Wray in the Drawing Room. I will never lose it again.

24^th

I was at School at seven. I could not have recited my Lessons better therefore out of the six present I was top almost from the beginning until the end. I did not miss any Word because I paid the greatest Attention. We did not have a walk before dinner because it was raining. I worked quite well until supper.

25^th

Today I have been to the Service at the St James's Church with Mama, my Grand Mama and my two sisters. After that we all had a walk with Mr. Le Cocq in Green Park. After dinner I behaved in a very coarse Manner and this just for some Sugared Almonds. I got angry and I even used a very rude Expression. I worked quite well until supper.

26^th

I recited my Lessons very well today, and I was top in my Class. I wrote for the prize and I won it entirely. I had six mistakes and Jackson seven. In the evening at seven o'clock M Roy reproached me a lot in the presence of all the Boarders about my bad Manners and especially my Impertinence. He threatened me a lot by saying that at the first Complaint he heard about me he would punish me severely.

27^th

I recited my Lessons very badly today. They made fun of me several times during my Reading, also I was bottom almost all of the Time. In the Dialogues I recovered somewhat and I finished Second, a place I certainly did not deserve. After lunch I stopped to play in the Playground, and I got so dirty that my Hands and my Face looked more like a Blacksmith than a child from a (good) family.

28^th

I recited my Lessons well although I could have done better. I was second and could have been top if I wanted. At one o'clock I made a big mistake which is to tell a Lie to try to escape from Mr Le Cocq, I told him that I was going to do the Rules of Arithmetic, and in fact I had no other Intention than to go and Play. As he saw me later he brought me back to Work and from my Lie only remained Shame and Regret to have said it. I could have played a longer time if only I had spoken sincerely.

March

1^st

Having followed Mr Le Cocq's advice, which was to prepare my Lessons well, I recited them very much better and I was the top of my Class, but I did not maintain this good Character in my Behaviour. At one o'clock when I knew that Mr Le Cocq was waiting for me at our house to go for a walk with Caroline, I played at School with the smallest children that I could find there until two o'clock, but this is what was even worse: I had in my Hand some sugared almonds which Madame Bischoff had given me: Mama had taken one and I immediately exclaimed, Ah Mama! As if to reproach her for wanting to eat it, they were very critical of me and I deserved it, as I have not perhaps in my Heart enough gratitude for all the Kindness that she has for me. I shall try in the future to do better on this subject.

2^nd

Today I was only the second in my Class, because I hadn't been as attentive as I should have been. At one o'clock I cried because they didn't want to let me go and Play as soon as I wanted to. I ran about so much before dinner and after lunch that I was as red as Fire and really sweating. I was lazy all day and in all my Exercises. I am always the same, I let myself go at the fury of the Fire.

3^rd

I recited my Lessons really badly today, although I was second to begin with, I was then last and I remained so a long Time. I ended up in fourth position. If I had played less yesterday that wouldn't have happened. I see that I am always wrong when I want to do what is in my Head. At one o'clock we went for a walk with my sister and Mr Le Cocq. I worked after dinner but quite badly. Today I had a quarrel with Eades who called me Deceitful. I see that he was almost right. I had locked his Hammer into my Drawer.

4^th

I did nothing all Morning, we went for a walk at one o'clock until three. After dinner I worked quite well until supper. I told three or four Lies this past week. I also had several bad manners, amongst others not paying attention to what was said to me, and not replying when I left a Room after being told not to go out or to come back quickly.

5^th

Today I was I was top of my Class, and I don't know why, as I did not know my Lessons well. I then wrote for the Prize which I lost. I had three mistakes and Jackson didn't have any. After lunch I played in such an extravagant fashion that I came up to School a long time after the others and sweating so much that I frightened Mr Le Cocq, my Hair was as wet as if I had soaked it in Water and my Face was as red as fire. In the early Evening I worked quite well.

6^th

I was at School where I stayed until ten o'clock. At Midday we walked as far as Islington, Mr Le Cocq, Caroline and I. I worked quite well all day and I even did something which brought me great Satisfaction. I gave something to a Poor Person who by the Thanks and the Blessing which he gave me, caused me the greatest Pleasure that I could experience.

7^th

Mr Le Cocq, Caroline and I were today at Westminster Abbey, where we took part in the service of general Fasting which started at Midday precisely and did not finish until a quarter past Two, the preacher was the bishop of Bristol, the Sight of this Assembly was really beautiful. At three o'clock we returned home and I worked well until Supper.

8^th

I was again top in my Class and this was because I had learned my Grammar really well. I am always sure of doing well when I follow the Advice that is given to me, but on the other Hand I do generally quite badly when I want to have my own Way At one o'clock I went walking with Mr Le Cocq, Caroline did not come as she was not good yesterday. Mrs Pitt having dined at our house today, I did not do a Lot.

9^th

I was second in my Class today and I did not deserve it, because I didn't know my Reading, even though they had made me prepare it twice yesterday. Today I would have tended towards being Lazy had they not shaken me out of it after dinner, it went quite well and I returned to School in the evening at seven o'clock.

10^th

I was the top of my Class today, I knew my Lessons well. At one o'clock I went walking with Mr Le Cocq, who became very angry with me in the Morning, because I just played instead of studying. I didn't use my time as I could have done after dinner until supper however in general it wasn't bad this week.

11^th

I did absolutely nothing before Midday, even though I had promised and they had recommended to me quite clearly to complete the task that had been assigned to me. At one o'clock we went walking. Mama, my two sisters and Mr Le Cocq went by Hyde Park, St James's and Green Park we returned after three o'clock. After dinner I worked until Supper but with a great deal of displeasure It is only by repeating to me constantly: get on then'why are you playing around' what are you doing there' carry on then' that they get me in the end to do what I have to do. I cannot contradict that I have a Dose of Laziness infinitely greater than myself and it is very fortunate for me that I am not left to my own devices.

12^th

I was top of my Class even though I did not know my Lessons perfectly. I then wrote for the Prize which I lost as I had so many mistakes that they did not think it worth correcting. The rest of the day went by indifferently. I danced, I drew and at seven o'clock I returned to School. In the evening I worked a little at home, but only by force, the Pleasure of Play making me lose sight of anything else.

13^th

I was only fourth in my Class, I didn't know my Lessons at all. I even lost three places in the first sentence that I read, and that because I wanted only to play yesterday, I had prepared everything but with so little attention that this Morning I hardly remembered a Word. I never do anything but by being forced to; it is only by force of quarrels and reproaches that I finally decide to do what I have to: but one never does well what one is forced to do.

14^th

I knew my Lessons well today because I had prepared them quite well, also I was top of my Class and I brought Honour on myself by speaking properly and behaving in a fairly honest Manner; but I spoilt it all afterwards by my too close friendship with the little Lambe boy. He gave me a fake half guinea which he had covered with bright silver, Mama was extremely angry, she told me all the disadvantages that could result from such an act, and for such a close Union between these two children. They forbade me to have anything more to do with them in the future, neither in public nor in private. In this matter I have promised to do all that is desired of me, and I intend to keep my Promise.

15^th

I was the top of my Class, even though I said my Verbs without care: but fortunately I knew my Grammar very well. Mr Le Cocq recommended that I did not play after lunch or at least very little. I promised him. I was right behind him as we left our house. I put my Hat next to his. He asked me if I was going to write and I replied that I was. But would you believe what I did? My speciality, a Trick. I sat in my Place, I made out that I was preparing all my Things, but at the Moment that I noticed that his eyes weren't on me, I went down to the Playground to Play; and what Game? I put a big black Mask on my Face and from there gave a Show to all the Boys and even made a fool of myself. I then told a Lie, I was the Laughing Stock of all the Children, and I shall perhaps not be allowed to play for several days. That is what you get from not being honest. I did not go walking at all today because of my Conduct.

16^th

I am third in my Class. I should have been top as I had prepared my Reading yesterday very well, but this Morning I had practically forgotten it all. Lack of Attention is one of my favourite vices. That is the only cause of my Disgrace in my Lessons that I suffer which happens to me quite often because of how I act. I behaved quite well today.

17^th

There were six of us today in our Lesson and I came Fifth. One can judge from that my Laziness and particularly my lack of Attention. At one o'clock we went walking, Mr Le Cocq, and Caroline. I worked quite well after dinner, because Caroline went out with Mama.

18^th

I got up in the early Morning, I did all my Homework before lunch; after we went for a Walk, Caroline and Mr Le Cocq. I worked really well after dinner, and behaved quite well during the whole Day.

19^th

There were four of us at our Lesson and I came Second. I then wrote for the prize which I won entirely. I had no mistakes at all and the others had at least two. After lunch I played a little but with Mr Le Cocq's permission, so here I am in good order. I had a bad Headache all day and for supper I only had a few spoonfuls of boiled milk.

20^th

I knew my Lessons quite well; also I was the top of my Class. I busied myself well until lunch. I did a long Latin Exercise, and quite well, even though my Headache had still not left me. I worked until dinner and I didn't play at all. In the evening I returned to School at seven o'clock, and had a very small supper because of my Headache. I only had a few spoonfuls of Milk, and I took five pills before going to bed

21^st

I wasn't at School today because of my Headache. It was very strong all Morning, but after I felt fairly good. Mr Le Coq came at five o'clock, and as he didn't return at eight I went to look for him at his place but I couldn't find him. I returned home, had supper at nine o'clock and went to bed at ten, having spent the whole Day at Home.

22^nd

I was at School this morning before seven o'clock, and not having been there yesterday found myself at the bottom of my Class, but having learned well my Grammar in advance I came second which isn't bad. Afterwards I went dancing. After lunch I didn't stop at all in the Playground to play, which pleased Mr Le Coq who was very happy with me all day. At one o'clock I went for a walk with him, but whilst we were out I was struck with such a violent Headache that I had all the Difficulty in the World to be able to return home. At three o'clock Mama, my Grand Mama, my Bischoff sister, Mr Le Coq and I went to an Exhibition of Portraits done at l'Eguille (?) at Hanover Square. It is a very worthy thing to see, there are some very fine pieces. I noticed amongst others a Woodcutter which is superb. There is also the Saviour at the Supper which is really Beautiful. Caroline was not with us because she had studied well enough to merit this treat. After dinner I again had a very bad Headache.

23^rd

I kept my Place: that is to say I was again second. I behaved well all through the Day. I did a long French exercise before dinner, I drew after dinner, I did not play at all, and Mr Le Coq was very pleased with me. Again I had a great Headache from three o'clock until five, and from half past seven until eight. I ate a few fish for my supper and I went to bed at nine o'clock. I slept very well all Night, as I generally do.

24^th

I started my Lessons badly. I was almost bottom in the Verbs, but I made it up in the Spelling. I came top and kept this place until the end so that Mr Le Coq who had started to look at me in a reproachful way was really pleased with me in the end. At one o'clock we went with Caroline to the Bookbinder to collect one of Mrs Bischoff's books, and then to walk in the Park until dinner. On the way back the Headache once again took a violent hold of me, I had it nearly all evening so that I did not do much.

25^th

I did nothing at all until dinner. It is true that I had taken some Medicine, but in spite of that I could have done something if I had really wanted to. At two o'clock I took another Medicine which completely prevented the Headache from returning. I dined quite well, and after I worked until supper but not with the same enthusiasm. I stayed all Day at Home and the Medicines which I had taken prevented me from going out with Mr Le Cocq who went walking with Caroline at one o'clock as far as Lambeth.

26^th

Clarkson started today in our Class, I was second, even though I did not know my Reading thoroughly, then I wrote for the prize and I won Half and Jackson the other Half. We each had six Mistakes. At Midday I had a slight Headache, and at one o'clock I came home to take some Medicine which did me a lot of good, I returned immediately to School as recommended by Mr Le Cocq, and did a good chunk of work. I drew after dinner and in the evening at seven o'clock I returned to School with Mr Le Coq. I went to bed at nine o'clock.

27^th

The Lesson today was very long, there were seven of us: on the whole I knew it well; I was top in spite of everything they could have done to make me lose this Place of Honour. For some time I have been preparing my Lessons quite well: also I get the Benefit: because I am really often top, and if I am not, I am never too far off it as my Class consists of the best in the School, and others do their best to keep me down. But I am resolved to try so hard that I hope to triumph over their Envy and all their Efforts. At seven o'clock I returned to School and the Headache one again gripped me. At eight o'clock I continued to work at home, up until eight forty-five, and as Mama had not returned from Kensington where she had been to dine with Mrs Bischoff, I ate something and went to bed.

28^th

I was again top of my class even though it was full and all the others knew (their lessons) quite well. I only left the first position for one instant through a word that I pronounced badly, but I took it again immediately. During the prayers I was not paying enough attention, I talked and laughed a lot. Mr Le Cocq told me off before I went to lunch. I did quite well before dinner: I wrote a little French exercise and I took some Medicine because of my Headache which I had not experienced all day. At seven o'clock I returned to School, and I studied before and after my Lessons for Tomorrow.

29^th

I believe that I have never said my lessons as badly as (I did) today, I did not know one word that I had studied all Week, especially my Grammar. I lost one Place in the Verbs and that because I was sleeping whilst the others spoke. Then in the Grammar I came bottom except for one, when my turn came I only knew one Word which I kept repeating, and if the others couldn't say it, when they came back to me, I only repeated the same Word which they had already told me four times was not the right one, at the Finish I do not know why or how I ended up in third position as I deserved no other Place than the bottom, it is chance and not my Application which put me in the Safety of this Confusion in giving me third Place. Mr Le Cocq was very displeased with me. At one o'clock we went with Caroline to the Bookbinder to take him four of My Sister's volumes. Then we went down to the Park where we walked for some Time. From there we went into the Palace Forecourt where we saw some very parrées? People who were going to the Queen's Drawing Room, but as a Headache once again took hold of me, we returned home straight away. I ate a very good dinner and afterwards I worked until Supper. I went to bed a little after nine o'clock.

30^th

I did not know my Lessons too well today, also I was only the third even though we were only five. I was also a little lazy; as I did very little before Lunch and almost nothing after. Today they discovered a little trick of young Lambe, my best Friend. He had stolen a Guinea from his Father, he gave it to Rice who kept it in his Box, and the young Rogers was the delivery boy. Every day they bought Oranges, Biscuits etc. They strongly suspected that I was in on the secret and to have had my Share of the Cake; what I have to reproach myself for is for having backed up a lie. He had bought a bottle of Essence, they asked him where he had got it from, he said I had given it to him, and I replied yes, even though it was untrue. I now realise that it is a big misdeed, because one should never lie, and even less uphold someone else's lie. After dinner I drew and I returned to School at seven o'clock until eight. I also did a French exercise at home.

31^st

There were only six of us in our Class and I came fourth, which does not indicate my brilliance. I am lazy and inattentive whilst the others are speaking and I often go to sleep and pay attention to anything other than my Lesson. At one o'clock we went walking with Caroline, the Headache took hold during the Walk, we returned Home at half past Two and I stayed in the Apothecary until nearly four o'clock when we dined without doing anything else, although Mrs Bischoff told me several times to go and find Mr Le Cocq who was upstairs with Caroline. I did very little after dinner, thus I finished both the Week and the Month badly.

April

1^st

I got up quite early, I started to do what Mr Le Cocq had told me; then I went walking with Mrs Bischoff in St James's Park where I drank some milk. We returned, I got dressed up and then Mr Le Coq, Caroline and I went to Kensington to see my Grand Mama. There I ate pudding and drank a glass of Wine. We then returned through the Park, and my Cousin (NB female cousin) accompanied us as far as the Piccadilly turnpike where Mr Merlin who was seated stationary in his carriage picked me out in the crowd, called me over to him and gave me a little Book from his Exhibition. The Weather was superb, there was an enormous Crowd, as we returned home we found Mrs Pitt and her daughter who dined with us, afterwards I behaved rather badly. I stretched myself out in an armchair, I leant on my Elbows everywhere, in spite of Mr Le Cocq saying to me several times: pay attention to what you are doing, so that I think this Lady was not too impressed with my Manners. After I went to work until nine o'clock and then went to bed without Supper because I had a really bad Headache.

2^nd

I did really well today. I was the top of my Class and I won the whole Prize, but afterwards I rather lessened the value of all that. I went down to dance, and after staying there a few moments, I went to the Toilets, where I stayed a really long Time in order to play whilst the others continued dancing. Play is still more important to me than my Study. A Headache took hold around midday and at one o'clock it was really intense. I returned Home to take some Medicine. I thought I'd be able to return straight away but I felt so bad that I had to lie down. I got up again at four o'clock, I hardly ate anything at dinner, at seven o'clock as I was feeling a little better, I went to School with Mr Le Cocq, we returned at eight and having drunk a half a bowl of Milk, I went to bed.

3^rd

I slept quite badly last night. I took some medicine at eight o'clock and got up at nine. I did not go to school at all. Mr Le Cocq came at eleven o'clock. I told him that I had prepared before he came. I then did a few French exercises. We felt able to go for a little Walk when the Headache again took a violent hold and totally prevented me from going out. I suffered a great deal before dinner, however I was able to do a little from Time to Time. I ate very little at dinner. I went to bed whilst the others were still at the Table. I stayed in Bed until after seven o'clock and I slept very deeply nearly all the Time. I got up again a little after seven o'clock. I thought I could eat something but it was impossible. Finally as I still felt quite bad and especially feeling very cold I returned to Bed at nine o'clock.

4^th

Today I did not go to School at all. I took a Dose of Emetic to clean out my Stomach and in so doing try to get rid of my Headache. Mama had the kindness to sit with me all the Time and make me drink a lot, which would make it work in the desired Manner. I behaved well all the Time. I was patient and I drank as much as they wanted. The operation was finished a little after Midday when I would have eaten something with the greatest of Pleasure, as I was really hungry, but as Mama advised me that it was better not to do so, I went without and went to bed until about Dinner time, when I ate nothing more than boiled mutton which I found very good since my Emetic. Mr Le Cocq came at five o'clock. I learnt with him a little Grammar, I then started again to do a little French exercise, and he left at seven o'clock to return to School. I was not myself, but I worked in a relaxed way until eight o'clock when I drank a little Milk with some toasted bread, and then went to bed happy with my little Self.

5^th

I didn't go to School today either, they thought that as it was only a half Day that it was better to keep me at Home. I went out after eight o'clock with Miss Bischoff and Ferdinand, to go walking and on the way back we brought his Porcelain Candleholder, we had only just got Home when I felt very ill. I had to go to lie down and I stayed in Bed until five o'clock. I slept a lot. Mr Le Cocq came at one o'clock, very angry to find me in this State. My brother came to see me whilst I was in Bed, but without prescribing anything for me. At five o'clock they got me up and Mama who had ordered a Carriage took me to a Doctor who seemed to fear that my Illness ne fut longue. (not long lasting? not sure what is meant here) We returned Home straight away with Mama. I ate nothing either at dinner nor Supper, although I had hardly eaten anything at breakfast. I vomited two or three times during the Day. My Grand Mama cooked me some Sago but I drank only a very little. Afterwards they gave me some Medicine prepared with some quinine as prescribed. I took it about nine o'clock and I went to bed but in Mama's Bedchamber, as she did not think it prudent to let me sleep alone in mine. It was a very bad Day.

6^th

I certainly did not sleep well last Night. In the Morning Mama gave me The Dose of Medicine that I took yesterday Evening and I had to repeat it every four Hours, but I had hardly had it in my stomach when I had to bring it up, they gave me another Dose about nine o'clock, which I again vomited as soon as I had taken it. At eleven I thought I could take a little Sago, but it was impossible to take three Spoonfuls, which I again vomited immediately afterwards. Feeling then extremely tired and very uncomfortable, I asked if I could go to Bed and as soon as I did I fell asleep. I woke up at one o'clock, with a great Thirst. Mama gave me some Rhine Wine with Water which did me a lot of good. I slept a little more and I then got up to have dinner. I ate four roast Oysters and quite a big Piece of Sole also roasted, with some Parsnips, all with a good appetite. I think it's the Rhine Wine that gave a little Tone to my Stomach. Mama did not think she should continue with the prescribed Medicine, because my Stomach could not take it. I was quite well after dinner. I spoke and followed the Conversation like I used to do before I was Ill. At eight o'clock I had two mouthfuls of Bread with a glass of warm Water with a little Rhine Wine and I went to lie down still in Mama's bedroom.

7^th

I slept reasonably well last Night. I was not ill when I woke up however I did not get out of Bed until after nine o'clock. I couldn't eat anything at lunch. I dragged myself round from Chair to Chair until about three o'clock without however feeling ill or suffering a Headache, just really weak. Mama, having imagined that the Country Air could do me some Good, took us to Kilburn Wells, where we dined. We left home at three o'clock precisely in a Carriage. Mama, Mrs Bischoff, Caroline, Ferdinand and Mr Le Cocq. We dined as soon as we arrived there. Afterwards they took me to a field for a walk. At first I had some difficulty, I was tired, I had a little Headache, However I walked for as long as they wanted. We returned to take coffee and afterwards we walked some more. I felt a little less tired. At last a little after seven o'clock we climbed into the Carriage to return Home, where we arrived at eight o'clock. After a little rest I drank half a glass of Vinegar Syrup with water and I went to bed without eating, even though I had not eaten a lot at dinner. I spent a really good Evening. Mrs Bischoff today gave me as a present a superb volume bound in red Morocco leather. and bordered in gold in which to write my diary.

8^th

I had a very good Night. I slept well and am really happy with my little Self. I got up a little after eight o'clock and ate with Pleasure some little Pieces of Roast for my Breakfast, after which I started for the first time to write my Diary. Today we returned to the same places where we were yesterday, to Kilburn Wells to dine. We left a little after one o'clock. The first Thing we did after our Arrival was to take a walk in the Meadows where we stayed about an Hour. From there we went to dine, after we went out again for about an Hour, we came to have some Coffee and then went for a walk again in the fields and in the Garden. At half past Seven we climbed into the Carriage and arrived home at Eight. I ate a little cheese and some small beetroots and I then repaired to Bed having worn out half of the day.

9^th

I spent an excellent night but I sweated horribly this morning which wore me out in an extraordinary way. I got up at eight o'clock. I breakfasted at nine but quite lightly. I went out at ten with Mr Le Cocq, we passed by Piccadilly to see the House that had been on fire three days ago. We then went down to the Park where I saw the Horse Guards. We then did two walks around after which I ate two little Slices of Bread and drank a cup of Milk. We walked again in the Park where I had fun rolling a Hoop. We crossed Green Park and we arrived in Grosvenor Square where I was the first to try the Key which my Sister had obtained in order to walk in the Square. There I met Miss Pitt and after resting for a few Moments we returned Home where I wrote in my Diary until dinner. I ate quite well. At five o'clock we returned to Green Park with Caroline, Ferdinand Mr Le Cocq, Mama, Grand Mama and Mrs Bischoff came to find us. I had fun playing Apple. We returned at half past seven. I ate a few little things and went to bed about nine o'clock, quite well, just a little weak.

10^th

Again I slept well last night, what happened to me yesterday happened again, that is that I went back to sleep after six o'clock. Again I sweated in a most extraordinary way which weakened me a great deal. I got up at nine o'clock. I breakfasted reasonably well. I went out at ten o'clock with Mr Le Cocq, I did a few Rounds of the Park. We went to see a Frenchman where we stayed a little while and where I ate some Figs. We returned to the Park. I had a crust and some Milk. Then feeling extremely tired, as I was much more so than Yesterday, we returned Home after an Hour. I rested a little and I then wrote a Page in my Diary. I took a Dancing Bear to Ferdinand which gave him a lot of Pleasure and I ate reasonably well, after which I felt terribly cold. I stretched out on the sofa where I fell asleep in an instant. I would have sweated a lot had I not by chance woken up half an Hour later. We went out at six o'clock. Mrs Bischoff, Ferdinand and Caroline and Mr Le Cocq, we went round Green Park twice and on the way back bought some Dates, some Biscuits, some Capillaire Syrup. We also bought The Adventures of Mr Robert Chevalier, called Beauchéne, which Mama gave me as a present. I ate a little Jelly and some Biscuit, I drank a half a glass of Rhine Wine, and I went to sleep quite well. I don't like Dates.

11^th

I spent a very good Night. I got up a little after six o'clock, at half past seven I went for a walk in the Park with my two Sisters, my Grand Mama and Ferdinand. I returned about nine o'clock. I had quite a good breakfast. I then wrote something in my Diary. Mr Le Cocq came at nine o'clock and half past twelve and stayed until two o'clock. I busied myself in a gentle fashion until dinner. I ate heartily, after the coffee we went out and were in Green Park. I didn't enjoy myself there. I was cold and I was tired. I was the first to ask if we could go home. For my Supper I ate quite a lot of roast Oysters and with a good appetite. I was however very tired and very pale. I went to bed at nine o'clock quite well. My Bischoff Sister made me laugh a lot, which no doubt did me a lot of good; as I slept extraordinarily well, and awoke very happy and very fresh, much better than I was feeling a few Days ago. Today I didn't take Milk at all, which I used to drink a lot, and with Pleasure, because they fear that I have Worms. I started the green Drops twice a day, before dinner and at five o'clock.

12^th

I got up before seven o'clock. My Bischoff Sister wanted to take me with her for a Walk, but I didn't want to go, afraid that she wanted to take me too far and in so doing tire me out too much. I stayed at Home where they said I had been a little impertinent. I believed it as it was Grand Mama who said it. At nine o'clock I had a very good breakfast, I ate a lot and with a good Appetite. At one o'clock I went out with Mr Le Cocq, we walked in the Park until after three o'clock. I ate very well at dinner, after I went out with Mr Le Cocq again. We bought a Beater and a shoe and we went to play in Green Park for more than an Hour and a half, this exercise did me a lot of good. Arriving home I had great difficulty in fighting off Sleepiness which overwhelmed me. Mama did all she could to make me laugh and she succeeded. At last, having drunk Green Drops, eaten a big Wing of chicken, the liver, the giget (did he mean gigot?) I went to bed overwhelmed by Sleep and really contented.

13^th

I got up after seven o'clock. I did not want to go for a walk with my Sister. I breakfasted quite well, after I went to Piccadilly to do an Errand for my Sister. After that I busied myself writing for some Time. I ate a lot at Dinner. Mr Le Cocq came to see me at nine o'clock and at one and he stayed until two. At five o'clock I went out with him, we played lacrosse in Green Park for a long time. Mama and my two sisters with Ferdinand came to find us and we all returned together. I had a very good Appetite at Supper. I went to bed at nine o'clock. Today is the first Day since my Indisposition that I felt what you could call well. I ran, I was lively and was not at all tired.

14^th

I could hardly get out of Bed this Morning, although I had slept really well all Night. Mrs Bischoff had to pull the blankets off me, otherwise I would perhaps still be there. Afterwards we went with Caroline to play in Green Park until lunch. On my Return I ate very well and then busied myself until one o'clock, when Mr Le Cocq arrived. I had already seen him at nine o'clock. We had been for a walk in Oxford Street until dinner where I was back to my old self; as at present I have an excellent Appetite, after which we again went to play in the Park until it was nearly Night. I again ate a good Supper. At nine o'clock I went to bed with a lot of Pain in my Thighs which I have felt for two or three days. At first it was only in one, now it is in both of them, and at times I suffer a lot as I walk or when I have to bend.

15^th

I got up at seven o'clock, at eight I went with Mr Le Cocq and Caroline to the Park, where we played Lacrosse until nine. On the way back Caroline threw my Racquet at some Distance in the Fields. Mr Le Cocq told her to go and Find it, she refused, we went back to look for it but we couldn't find it. Mama was very angry with her and I scolded her soundly, not for the Racquet but for her Stubbornness. After lunch I worked until midday. I went out again with Mr Le Cocq until dinner after which we went out again, but as the Rain arrived we returned at Once and I worked until supper. My thighs continue to hurt me a lot, it is only with Difficulty that I can bend down to pick Something up off the ground. I made great fun of Caroline whilst Mama was scolding her. I laughed to see her cry. They told me that this was not good, and I promised not to do it again. I went to bed at nine o'clock.

16^th

I got up a little before seven o'clock, I was at School for the first time since my Indisposition. I spoke with my Class, there were six of us, I started out being the bottom and near the end of the Reading I became top, but in the Dialogues I lost two Places through lack of attention, which resulted in my being third. I then went to dancing. I didn't get very tired. At a quarter past nine I came for breakfast. I returned at ten o'clock. I busied myself until one. I then returned, I took my Green Drops and stayed until two, I then returned to go to dinner, and then Drawing. At five o'clock I returned with Mr Le Cocq and after Coffee we went to play Lacrosse in the Park. At half past seven we returned and I busied myself until supper preparing my Lessons for the Next Day. I had Jelly which I ate with Delight, with some Biscuits. After I went to bed, quite content with myself and feeling well, the only thing I can complain about is my Thighs which are still hurting.

17^th

It was a quarter past seven when I arrived at School. My Class had started. I was as a consequence the bottom. I reached third position before the end of Reading and in the Dialogues I became top, and I kept this Position until the end, which is not bad when you start by being the sixth and finish top, which is what is called not being able to do better. Afterwards I wrote or the Prize, which they had put on a Tuesday instead of a Monday, because Dancing put us off a lot beforehand. I won the half and Jackson the other half. Neither of us had any mistakes. At one o'clock I returned Home, I took my Green Drops, enjoyed myself until two, and went for dinner. I did not eat much at five o'clock. I returned with Mr Le Cocq and after Coffee we went to the Park with Caroline to play Lacrosse. We returned at half past seven. I prepared my Lessons for tomorrow. I had quite a good supper with cream Cheese and Jelly I was hungry, and at nine o'clock I went to bed having spent a very good day, that is to say after having completed my Homework as well as it was in my Power to do so.

18^th

I was at School at seven o'clock. I do not believe that I had ever said my Lessons better. The others did not know them too well, perhaps they did it on purpose, in the hope that in letting me say a lot, I would make a mistake and make me lose my Position. But whatever their Motive was, it did not succeed because I really got the better of the two of them, I didn't make a single mistake; and Mr Le Cocq assured me that he did not think that I could ever have spoken so well and that he was really happy with me. Because at the end, having said that I was top, he replied in front of the whole Class, You really deserve it, as it is impossible to know your Lessons better than you did. The others were envious hearing this Compliment which greatly flattered me, but I was really happy. At nine o'clock I went for breakfast, I returned again at one o'clock to take my green Drops, but I completely forgot them. I returned at two o'clock for dinner without having taken them. Having finished Drawing at five o'clock, I returned and we went to play Lacrosse with Mr Le Cocq. For my Supper I had Biscuits and Jelly which I ate with Appetite. Mama is very pleased with me, and Mrs Bischoff too. It is true that I do all I can to satisfy them in everything. I went to bed at half past nine.

19^th

I was at School before seven o'clock., I said my lessons as the Master. I didn't miss a single word. I was first to begin I was top all the Time, and I was the first to finish. Mr Le Cocq couldn't have been happier wit me After my Lessons I went to dance and at nine o'clock I came for breakfast. At one o'clock we returned, we thought we would go walking but the Rain prevented us. I was busy until dinner, after I had my hair cut and worked until Supper. We did not go out the whole day. I ate really well today and with a good Appetite. My thighs do not hurt any more and I do not feel any other Indisposition. Everbody was as pleased with me as I was with myself; I went to bed at nine o'clock and with Pleasure, as I was really Sleepy.

20^th

At School before seven o'clock. I knew my Lessons really well, however I lost a Place and that was right at the End for a C that I pronounced closed instead of silent, so that today I am only the second. I came Home at nine and at one o'clock. I dined quite well at Mr Roy's. After came Drawing and at five o'clock we started for the first time to do Drill, it's a former Sergeant in the Guards who is today a teacher who shows us. He came before, three or four Years ago and we exercised three times a week There are about thirty of us learning. At six o'clock I returned home and busied myself until Supper. I ate very well and was really happy all day. I found the military Exercises especially enjoyable. I went to bed really happy.

21^st

I was at School Early, but I didn't know my Lessons too well. I made two mistakes however I put them right and at the end I found myself second as I was yesterday. In consequence I lost nothing, although I deserved to. I came for breakfast at a quarter past nine and I then returned to play in the Playground with the other Children. At one o'clock we went walking with Mr Le Cocq until three. After Dinner we went out again and I played Lacrosse for a long time with him and with a Child who came to join us, who was really likeable and whom I made run around a lot. We returned after seven o'clock and I busied myself until eight. Mr Le Cocq was very pleased with me, because I busied myself and I did all that was in my Power to behave myself well and make Everybody happy. I am pleased with myself because I believe I have succeeded. I feel quite well, I have a good Appetite and I am sleeping really well.

22^nd

I got up at six o'clock. Mr Le Cocq came at seven o'clock and we went out immediately. We played for a while then as I felt tired we finished and went to join Mrs Bischoff and Ferdinand whom we had seen a few moments before and who had been to drink some Milk at the end of the Park. At that Moment there was a general Inspection of the Foot Guards who were very numerous. We all four returned home and we had lunch. Mr Le Cocq went to Church and came back at Noon. I recited to him what I had prepared and we continued to work until dinner, without going out as it was really hot. Afterwards we went out again, but we had only just arrived at the Destination when I wanted to go home; that was not to be, because in spite of what I felt, I stayed there. Mr Le Cocq made me walk until seven o'clock. I felt extraordinarily tired. However I ate very well Today, and I do not know what could have been the Cause of the Weakness that I felt again the whole Day. Caroline did not walk with us at all, neither yesterday nor today. She is awfully lazy. She does practically nothing all day, furthermore she goes from bad to worse in her Manners and in her Responses, which are for most of the Time nothing less than honest. Mama and nearly everybody in the House are very displeased. My Grand Mama had the Kindness to accompany me to Bed in place of Mrs Bischoff who distresses me so badly that tomorrow I shall leave the little Bed that Mama had the Kindness to make up for me in her Bedroom since the time I was indisposed, to return to my own.

23^rd

I knew my Lessons very well today, also I was the top of the lot even though there were seven of us. Mr Le Cocq was very pleased with me because, having taken first Place in the first Line of the Reading, I kept it constantly, not only in Reading but also until the end of the Dialogues. After my Lessons I went to Dancing and at nine o'clock breakfast. Coming to School this Morning I didn't feel too well. I was sick in the Playground. I was better after my Green Drops which I had forgotten to take for two Days. At five o'clock we did Drill until half past six. I went for a little Wander in Oxford Street until half past seven. After that I prepared my lessons a little but with a lot of bad grace. I was in a dreadful mood. I was angry with everyone. I argued with everyone I came across, I told Mr Le Cocq that he didn't want to understand me, I called Caroline an Animal, I told Mrs Bischoff that she was Greedy because she hadn't left me enough vinegar, I would even have argued with Mama if I had dared. But she didn't lose out, as although I didn't scold her, I spoke to her with the greatest Indifference and in an almost dishonest tone. Finally, in a Childish way I fell asleep and then I cried, complaining that I was hungry, that I was sleepy etc etc finally I went to bed at ten o'clock in my Room and buried my bad Mood in my Bed, where I slept very well.

24^th

I didn't know my Lessons at all today, especially my Reading, I said it like a Pig. I was first to start off with, and at the end I was I found myself sixth. That is not surprising. I was too impatient yesterday to give the necessary Attention. I recovered a little in the Dialogue. I finished up by being the second in my Class. I then wrote for the Prize and I did it almost as badly as I had said my Reading. Even though it was very easy I lost it. I even did some very stupid mistakes which I would not dare to put in this Book. Mr Le Cocq was very displeased with me. At nine o'clock I came for breakfast and I returned straight away to go and play, which I did with a great deal more Application that I had put into my Exercises during the whole Morning. At one o'clock I came to take my Green Drops. I returned and played until two o'clock. I started to eat feeling very well but I had hardly started to eat when I was gripped by a very big Headache, so that I was obliged to come back home. At five o'clock Mr Le Cocq came and we went to play in the Park until half past seven. Caroline was with us. The Headache left me a half an hour after I was at Home. Before supper I prepared my Lessons well for tomorrow and I was all the time in a very good Mood. Everybody seemed very satisfied with me. It was nearly ten o'clock when I went to bed. Today Mrs Bischoff filled my balcony with pots of flowers which were a present for me. Most are really (en Mignonette) pretty? Miniature?

25^th

I said my Lessons very well this Morning. I was the second and near the beginning I took the first Place which I kept constantly until the end with out losing it a single time. Mr Le Cocq was very pleased with me and even Complimented me in front of the others, saying that I knew my Lessons extremely well. Little Eloge flattered me, and I resolved to do my utmost to have it repeated a few times, as it is very much more agreeable to hear it than to have sulks, scoldings and hearing people saying You are Lazy and Slovenly, etc etc . Returning from breakfast I played in the Playground until ten o'clock. At one o'clock at Home for my Green Drops and after I played until Dinner. I ate well. After, Drawing and at five o'clock Drill. At half past six home and in the Park where I saw the King with his Followers there were really a lot of them, there were twelve Carriages, going to the Concert. Returning home I practised my Lessons for Tomorrow. I ate Supper and really well and went to bed really pleased with myself, because I think that I did everything that I could have done to satisfy Everybody. Caroline did not come walking with us today because she didn't know her Lessons.

26^th

I got up at five o'clock. I wrote, I practised my Lessons and arrived at School a little before seven o'clock. I was again the top of my Class. I didn't miss out a single Word. Mr Le Cocq looked at me smiling in a very agreeable Manner. It is a great Comfort for me to see him happy, and I shall try to do all that I can to achieve this Satisfaction often. After our Lessons, Dancing. At one o'clock I went out for a While with Mr Le Cocq: I then worked until dinner, after which I went down into the Street to show Ferdinand the Puppets. Afterwards having entered the Courtyard of Mr Le Roy, I played Tennis with such keenness that I became extraordinarily hot. Mama and all the People who were at home made Criticisms. I then went to play in the Park with Mr Le Cocq. Mama, my two Sisters and Ferdinand came to join us there; and we returned home all together. I ate as much as four people at Supper, and I went to bed at nine o'clock.

27^th

I got up very early. I arrived at School at the usual time, and I said my Lessons in the usual way, that is to say extremely well. The Class was full, there were seven of us, and I was nearly always in the Lead. I was top to begin with and twice I became second, but never lower, and that was not for very long. At last having taken the first Place, I kept it until the end, both in the Reading and the Verbs. Mr Le Cocq was really pleased, he smiled at me and made compliments. It is the best Breakfast that I can have. I came home at nine o'clock and at one. I played in the Playground. After dinner drawing, and at five o'clock Drill. On my return home I found Mrs Pitt with her Daughter. Mr Le Cocq came to take me to go for a little walk. You would think perhaps that I went, because in the normal way I am very eager, especially when Work needs to be done, I would not want to stay at Home, not in the least. I made quite a story to him, saying that Mama told me that I had to keep these Ladies Company and that I should not either go for a walk nor doing anything else, whilst they were with us. All that was a fib. Mama had not said any such thing to me. As a consequence of what I told him, Mr Le Cocq went away. These Ladies did not leave until after eight o'clock, and although I had not been with them for long and I had not paid them a lot of attention, I didn't work much more. Today Caroline broke the big spring of my Grand Mama's watch. She was generally badly behaved.

28^th

I was not very happy in my Lessons today. I knew them really well, I constantly kept the first Place until the end, not just in the Verbs but also in the Spelling and at the last Word, yes at the last of all the Words, I forgot two letters and lost my first Place. It is necessary that I state that it is a little my fault. I knew the Word and if I had been paying a little more attention, I would have spelt it as it should be. I have only myself to blame if I am only the Second. Mr Le Cocq was unhappy with this Negligence on my Part as I had been top nearly all Week. He would have been delighted if I had been it again today, Saturday, and I had therefore finished the Week well. After breakfast I played in the Playground until after ten o'clock. At one o'clock I was with Mr Le Cocq in the Park until dinner, after which I went out with him again. I bought a band or Hoop which I played with until about seven o'clock. After I worked until Supper, and I went to bed at nine o'clock.

29^th

I got up a little after six o'clock. Mr Le Cocq came at seven. I took my Hoop and we went into the Park, where I played until nine. On our return, he left me at the door. I ate very well. I then busied myself until he returned, and we worked together until dinner and really well, as I applied myself well and I did a lot. Afterwards I returned with him into the Park and at seven o'clock we returned to Work until supper. They served, we sat down at the Table, and although there were many things to eat and really good Things, I was really Fussy. I found nothing to my Taste. They offered me some of this and then that, and then the rest. I did not like anything at all that was on the Table. Finally Mama who is too good, and too obliging, had some other Thing brought for me which I ate. They have told me many times that this unpleasant behaviour at the Table is uncalled for, that I should do as the others and get used to eating what Everybody eats. But all that did not make a great Impression on my mind. I was obstinate until the end.

30^th

I knew my Lessons and said them well. And I was top. Mr Le Cocq was really pleased, he likes to see me start the Week well. It is an encouragement for the other Days, and he repeats to me often that what starts well, finishes well, according to the Proverb a thing that starts well is half achieved. After our Lessons Dancing and then breakfast. Afterwards Play in the Playground until ten o'clock. At one o'clock home for my Green Drops, returned at two for dinner, and then Drawing, at five o'clock Drill until half past six, then home where I worked with Mr Le Cocq until supper. We did not go for a walk today because it was late and it was cold. I worked a lot in the Hope that I will be rewarded with a long Walk if the Weather is fine Tomorrow. I was less difficult today at supper than I was yesterday. I ate what I was Served and made not a single Complaint. I went to bed at nine o'clock. I have used this Month well, and if I had not been indisposed I think that I would have profited a lot. But now that my strength is returned, and I feel perfectly well, I am going to be really good, and I hope that Mama and Mr Le Cocq will be happy with my Application to Study and my good Manners. Finally all will depend on me.

May

1^st

I got up at seven o'clock, I worked until Breakfast. Mr Le Cocq came at ten o'clock. After having corrected what I had done, we went to Portman Square to see the Chimney Sweepers. From there we went into Hyde Park and then to St James's Park, where I played a lot with my hoop. I was full of energy. I haven't played with such Enjoyment for a long time. It was three o'clock when we returned home. After dinner we returned to the Park, and Caroline was with us. We again played a lot. We returned at seven o'clock and I worked well until Supper, even though it was a holiday for us today, I worked as much and perhaps more than on Ordinary Days. I bought a Bat after dinner, having lost Mine I don't know when. It's already the fourth. Mama gave me a Sixpence for this purpose. She gave me three Shillings only a few days ago, and in spite of that I dared to ask her for the sixpence that she has the Goodness to give me every Monday since about a month ago. But my Indiscretion, or rather my Greed has been pointed out to me, for asking for sixpence after having received three Shillings, and I am Ashamed about it. I had a good time all Day and am enjoying excellent Health.

2^nd

I got up at six o'clock. I did my corrections until seven. Then to School where I said my Lessons well, because I had learnt them well. I was top to begin with, and remained there constantly until the end, without leaving this Position a single time. I was collected at six o'clock. Mr Le Cocq and I went out with Caroline and two of her Friends whom she picked up on our way. However she kept us waiting a half an Hour in the Street, because these Young Ladies had not yet had their Tea, and my Sister wanted to wait for them. We went down to the Park where they spoke and laughed so that Everyone could hear them. After that each would have gone their own way if Mr Le Cocq had not run after these Young Girls, and I after Caroline, who had decided in crossing Piccadilly to the other side from the one we were using. We were eventually reunited, we left the Young Girls at their house and arrived home at eight o'clock. This Morning I returned with my Jacket all torn under the Arm. I got that playing in the Playground.

3^rd

I said my Lessons very well. I was top to begin with, and was so all the Time right until the end. Mr Le Cocq said that it is impossible to do any better. At one o'clock into the Park with Mr Le Cocq: at three o'clock I prepared my Reading for tomorrow. After dinner to the Park again and Caroline came with us. We stayed there until seven o'clock, then I worked until nine. Today I could have paid a little more attention to my Manners. I often leant on the Table whilst eating, I threw a Fistful of Earth into Mr Le Cocq's eyes; and I often gave Answers that were a little too brazen and sometimes a little too offhand.

4^th

I got up really late today. My Class had already said half of the Reading when I arrived at School. I was obliged to put myself in the Queue, whilst yesterday I was the first. However with the first Word I gained a Position and before the end I was once again at the top, I was really happy to have regained my Position and I counted on keeping it until the end, but like a Scatterbrain I lost two Places in the Verbs, however I recovered one, and I finally ended up being second. With a little more attention I would have been the first. Mr Le Cocq seemed very unhappy and was very serious with me all the Morning, however he did not prevent me from playing, and very energetically, after breakfast. At one o'clock I was kept in for my Latin which I did not know and all my Class with me, until two o'clock. I went walking with Mr Le Cocq in the Park until after seven o'clock and where I saw the King going to the Concert with all his Followers. On my arrival home, I prepared my Lessons for tomorrow. I had Supper and a lot, as I ate a lot of Meat, more than Mr Le Cocq wanted me to.

5^th

I arrived at School before they called the Names. I started by saying my Lessons. I was second. I reached first almost at the beginning and I stayed there until the End, without moving from my position for an Instant, so that I was top all Week, except yesterday when I was only second. After our Lessons I wrote for the Prize, which we could not do last Tuesday, it being the first Tuesday of the Month and because it was a holiday. I won it outright. I had three mistakes and the others had at least five. I almost went without breakfast today, for the Pleasure of playing. I was only there five Minutes. At one o'clock I went out with Mr Le Cocq. We walked until dinnertime. Afterwards we went out again and Caroline was with us. On the way back she left us, and without saying a word to us, to accompany home two of her Friends whom she had met in the Park. She arrived Home a quarter of an Hour after us. We had begun working. I did it with such bad Grace that it would have been of almost the same value if I had done nothing, because I was told something about my Writing that I did with such Indifference that I couldn't read it myself, and other little things like that. I cried, I was childish and did everything to make myself look ridiculous. I was in the end in a very bad mood all Evening and that was because I do not like it when they tell me I am wrong. I am really happy when they pay me Compliments, but very disturbed when they tell me that I do not do well. If I'm not mistaken, in that Way I would never be corrected if they did not stand up to my Bad Mood.

6^th

Mr Le Cocq came after half past seven and I was still in my bed. After I got dressed we went for a walk until nine o'clock. I had hardly done anything before Mr Le Cocq arrived, and so I started with what is called Impertinence. He told me to go down to work as we would be quieter downstairs, I replied, No, here, he asked me, why? and without further Ceremony, I answered, because I like it. A Chimney Sweep or a lock picker would have said as much. I was however made to go downstairs, and although I really wanted to go for a walk, nobody took any notice of my insistence, and we worked until dinner. For some days they have not stopped telling me that I behave badly at Table, that I lean on my elbows all the time, they have even said that I was becoming worse than Caroline. All of that did not make much Impression on me, as today I kept making the same mistake.

7^th

I did not say my Lessons extremely well, however I was the top but I think Luck played a part more than my ability, or because the others were not better prepared, they did not know (the lessons) better than me. Nevertheless I am top, and that consoles me a little after what Mr Le Cocq said, that I was Lazy. As it was raining and we couldn't play in the Playground, I wrote in my Room until ten o'clock, and I then returned to School. I returned home at seven o'clock and I worked until nine, and really well and with a very good Grace, as I had all day. Mr Le Cocq was very pleased with me. I did not show him the least Difficulty in all he asked me to do before breakfast, before dinner, before supper. That is what he likes and we are still really good Friends when I behave myself in this Manner. I had forgotten to say that today I received a Kiss from a really beautiful Lady, but not being at all accustomed to such favours, Mrs Bischoff said that I blushed right to the whites of my Eyes.

8^th

I said my Lessons very well. I did not change my position a single time and in consequence found myself top at the End as I had been at the Start. I then wrote for the Prize, but I did not do marvellously well. I did it for an hour and a half. It is true that I played more than looking for Words. Also I left a word out, another wrongly spelt and then what do I know? Really badly done, it's impossible to apply oneself when one is playing. It happened, however, and I don't know how, that I won a third. I had three Mistakes plus one added on, that's four. Jackson was the same, also with an added mistake, and Sneider four the Same. We therefore each won two Pence. I worked until five o'clock and then home. We could not go for a walk because it was raining. They told me that I was wrong this Morning to have been so inattentive when I wrote for the Prize, and I cried a lot. I then prepared my Lessons and did some French Exercises until nine o'clock. I gave it all my Application, I did it without a word and even with fairly good Grace. So much so that Mama and Everybody was quite pleased with me.

9^th

I knew my Lessons really well and said them very well. I was top at the Start and I didn't budge a single time from my Position., which means that I am still top. As I did nothing this Morning before coming to School, I had promised Mr Le Cocq I'd do Something after breakfast, but instead of asking him what I needed for writing, I secretly escaped, afraid that he would spot me, because I wanted to go and play; I had this Intention before I spoke to him. I therefore told a Lie, telling him that I had Drawing to re-do at nine o'clock which I should have done at six. We went out with Caroline. We saw the King with all his Followers going to the Concert.

10^th

I said my Lessons very well. I am still top and remained so for all the time in the two Lessons without leaving the Position once. It is not therefore only Chance that gave it to me today, but because I knew better than all the Others. At one o'clock we went walking until three. After dinner I prepared my Reading, then Walking again and Caroline came with us. We returned home after seven o'clock. I again prepared my Lessons and busied myself quite well until Supper. I would have done very well today if I had paid a little more attention to what I had to write in my Diary and been less lively in certain things which they told me about. But I cried because I was told that I should have started to prepare at School my Lessons instead of going for breakfast, and perhaps I would have said some Insulting things to Mrs Bischoff if they had not stopped me, and that only because she said that it would be better for my Health if I ate less Meat in the Evening. Happily they stopped me there, and my bad Mood did not have further repercussions.

11^th

I said my Lessons very well today, infinitely better than one would have believed. Mr Le Cocq (said) that our Reading was very difficult and that I coped with it very well. I was top at the beginning and I kept my Position. Success brought me Compliments and everything that can inspire me to continue to do well. I prepared my Lessons and translated from the French until eight o'clock. Mr Le Cocq left then, I had a really good Supper and went to bed, having used my Day very well, and having tried to please my Dear Mama.

12^th

Once more I knew my Lessons really well and said them very well. I did not lose my Position a single time. So I am still the top. However all the others knew them very well, too, they had prepared them in a very special Way. In spite of that, I held on well. I pronounced well, I spoke slowly, I paid as much Attention as possible and through these Means I succeeded in keeping my Position. After I danced, had breakfast and then played in the Playground like I usually do, that is to say in a very lively way. What angers Mr Le Cocq, who doesn't stop telling me about it, is that in sweating so much, I get too heated, and I expose myself to catching Something which without a Miracle I might live to regret, but I believe that I am too Young to think about all the Consequences. At one o'clock I came to take my Green Drops and after that I returned to School to mess around. I met the young Lambe boy. He asked me for a little piece of sugar which I had in my Hand. I refused him. He said something to me, I replied and we ended up fighting. I treated him badly. I gave him several blows on the face, and I covered him with Bumps and Blood. His Mother came in the Evening to make a Complaint to Mr Roy. She demanded to know if I were not ashamed to pit myself against a Child who was twice as small as me. She said everything imaginable against me. Mr Roy gave me all the telling off that I deserved on the matter, and as he is already so against me, I am surprised that he did not punish me more severely. We worked until after nine o'clock, but I did it with fairly bad Grace, and it was only through being told, come along now, get on with it, that I reached the End.

13^th

I went out with Mr Le Cocq and we walked until nine o'clock. I ate breakfast with a hearty Appetite and settled down to writing until Me Le Cocq returned. I continued to work until dinner. We were not able to go out at all because it was raining. After dinner we walked for nearly two Hours and we then worked until supper, and very well and with Pleasure and for a very long Time, so that I deserved a really good Character (report). This Day would have been perfect if I had not done three of my 'specialities' which needed to be reported in this Diary, in order that I can remember in the Future what I was capable of when I was young. Firstly I started arguing, really strongly with my Sister Caroline, and that was just because she was reading a little too loudly for my fancy in the neighbouring room. I even wanted her out of there. Mrs Bischoff in an effort to put an end to the Quarrel got me to go down to the Parlour to continue my Writing there. I took my Books and a fine Glass Inkwell that I dropped on the Staircase, and it broke into a thousand Pieces, and being full of ink, spattered all around. That's one thing. The second is that about the end of breakfast, having wanted to serve myself another Cup of Tea, like an Idiot I dropped the Teapot on Mrs Bischoff's Foot who would certainly have been scalded in a very cruel Manner if the water had been really hot. Her Petticoat, her Stocking, her Shoe, all were covered. My turn had to come at last, and it was at dinner that I received the Reward for my Inattention. Wishing to cut a Piece of Bread, I decided to cut my Finger, and it bled a lot and for a long Time, and nobody was sympathetic. That is the Lot of the ill-advised, and it's mine.

14^th

I said my Reading really badly. I had forgotten Half of it, although I had prepared it very well yesterday. I was bottom when it was finished. Fortunately I knew my dialogue better. I regained the Positions that I had lost in the Reading, and at the end I found myself as I was at the Beginning, that is to say top. Then Dancing and then breakfast, after which I returned to School with the intention of playing, but not having found anyone in the Playground because it was raining, I preferred to take on the role of Servant rather than going in, fearing that they wanted to make me study. One of the Boys wanted to buy some Hazelnuts, but he did not have the slightest wish to go out, in order not to expose himself to the Rain, and I like a good Child, always ready to do for others what I would not like to do for myself if they told me I must, went to find what he needed. Mr Roy grumbled about me a lot today. He said that he had never seen such a 'Careless' child, so 'Careless', that is his Expression, as I was. Paying Attention to nothing, that I never spent my time seriously, and that I thought of absolutely nothing besides play, that he had examined me for a long Time and that he had found in me nothing but the love of Play, that everyone complained about me and my Rough Manners, my Impertinence. The Dancing Master, the Drawing Master especially, are those, he said, that make the most Complaints, and that every day, and over and over again; that if amongst many children I meet one that is Lazy, or Vulgar or Insolent, it is precisely to him that I attach myself in Preference to all the others, etc, etc. I did not know one Word of my Latin Lesson, I was put in detention to learn it for nearly two Hours. I worked with Mr Le Cocq until Supper. He was very displeased with everything that Mr Roy had said, but he was not entirely surprised, because he has often noticed the same Shortcomings, and he has told me about them more than once, without my paying much attention to it, and that is what angers him the most.

15^th

I said my Lessons fairly well today. In Reading I lost my Position twice, but I won it back again and kept it until the end. Then I still kept it in the Dialogues, so that at the end I found myself top again, as I was at the start. I then wrote for the Prize of which I won a third. It was quite well done. I worked until seven o'clock, after I walked until eight and busied myself until nine. This Day would have been quite well filled, and I would in consequence be quite happy, had I been a little more honest in my Behaviour, and especially in my way of speaking which I'm told is a little too insolent. I was told about it, they even got me to knowledge it, but I did not notice that I had profited greatly from the Advice they gave me on this Matter.

16^th

I said my Lessons quite well. I lost a Position in the Dialogues for having pronounced a silent E as if it were closed, but I soon regained it in the Spelling. I became top again, and continued the same until the end after Breakfast. Mr Le Cocq explained my Latin a little. I was, however almost the bottom. Mr Roy embarrassed me at dinner in front of Everybody. There were about sixty People there. He said that he would punish me severely, because I was still behaving so badly. At this Moment I threw in the Air some pieces of Bread and then I opened my mouth as wide as a Shoe to catch them as they fell. I leant on the Table. I spoke really loudly. In a Word I did what I should not have done, and what a well brought up Child would never do.

17^th

I said my Lessons really well. I did not lose my Position a single time although I said two thirds of the Grammar which the others did not know absolutely well. I am therefore still the top. Today I told a Lie for which Mr Le Cocq has Reproached me greatly. I had about a thirty Line Speech to say in English. As all the other Children, I was asked at home two days ago to whom I had said it. I replied, To Mr Roy, and that was not true. This is how I get used to lying for Nothing. If they do not shake me out of it, as in many other Things, a Day will come when I shall lie for more essential Things, which will end up making me contemptible. What I have more to be sorry for is that if I have told a Lie, I could say without any conscience five hundred more, if necessary, to back up the first one, and that is what happened to me today. Mr Le Cocq asked me, To whom have you said your Speech? To Mr Roy, I replied. Are you certain, to Mr Roy? Yes, certainly. But are you really sure? Yes, really sure, really sure, really sure. I had forgotten that Mr Le Cocq is sharper than me. He understood and I did not remember further back than an hour ago. Mr Roy asked in a bad tempered Tone, Have you said your Speech? Yes and to whom? To somebody. Mr Le Cocq rebuked me then for the Laziness of my Emotions, and made me feel how unworthy it was for an honest young Man, and especially me, to whom so much has been said on the Matter of maintaining such Conduct. He wanted to tell Mama and let her know all that Mr Roy had said about me. It was only after an Hour of Pleas, Entreaties and Tears that I could obtain from him this new Forgiveness, in promising him in the most solemn Manner that it would never happen again.

18^th

I knew my Lessons well. However I sometimes lost my Position for certain Words that I had forgotten in the Reading, but I regained it and kept it until the End, so that I am again top. Before I went for breakfast, Mr Le Cocq made me promise that I would do some writing in my Room, but the Love of Play took me away from the Promise I had made. I went to the Playground, where I got so hot that Water was running everywhere, in my Hair and on my Face, to such an extent that I hid myself for more than a quarter of an Hour in the Toilets, and I then did not dare to put my Hat next to Mr Le Cocq's, as I usually do. At one o'clock he asked me why I had not brought it. I told him a Lie, assuring him that I preferred to leave it in the Kitchen, and that is not true as I myself not three Days ago placed a Nail next to His. All that I did was only to avoid the rebukes he made but I lost nothing as he knew as well as I everything I did, and even everything that I was thinking. From there on it transpired that I did nothing at all, as from after Breakfast until half past One I had only prepared five or six Lines of Latin, which I did not know when we said our Lesson. The Child who heard us told Mr Le Cocq. I did not behave perfectly well during the Walk. I was as usual a little impertinent. Whilst I was getting ready to get into Bed, Mr Le Cocq made a long Sermon on many Things which had happened to me this Week. He made me realise the consequences and told me everything possible to try to make me not lapse again. I promised him, and I hope to be more faithful to this Promise than I have been up till now.

19^th

I said my Lessons really well. I did not lose my Position a single time, even though there were some very difficult Pieces in the Spelling and which fell to me when they were Shared out. I am therefore still top and I have been so for fifteen Days in a row without losing it once. They say that this brings me Honour and I believe it as it is not a little'.

Notes

Cymon

"Cymon A dramatic romance" was originally written by David Garrick, Esq. and first performed as an opera in 1767. It was performed as a play in five acts, by His Majesty's Company, from the Theatre Royal in Drury Lane, at the King's Theatre in the Haymarket, on Saturday, December 31, 1791.

There was a performance on Friday January 6 1792 at the King's Theatre, Haymarket. See Advert in London Times.

Source: The Cambridge History of English and American Literature in 18 Volumes (1907-21). Vol. 10. The Age of Johnson.
Source: The London Stage, 1660-1800 Part 5, 1776-1800: A Calendar of Plays ... By William Van Lennep
Source: David Garrick, Dramatist By Elizabeth Stein